Mommy, what are you doing in there?

There’s a written law, or code if you will, for Mother’s all over the world. It’s an extensive list and yes, every mother has one. One of the things on that list is the fact that a mother cannot go very far without her children knowing her exact destination or knowing where she is at any given time…it’s under the “Where there’s a will, there’s a way” clause. Your child(ren) can find you, especially if you think you’re going to have a little ‘me time’.

1. A mother locks herself in the pantry just to scarf down a sandwich or cup cake before dinner time – this is due to the fact that she’s the last one to eat, and by the time she does sit down to eat her food she had placed onto her plate, she has noticed it has gone ice cold. She gets up to warm her plate only to be distracted by her child(ren) asking for seconds, set up a movie on their TV, or any other long list of things that will have her coming back to another cold plate. By this time it’s already time to get the kid(s) into the bath, then bed.

2. A mother locks herself in her bedroom closet just to snack on a candy bar – trust me, if you haven’t tried this, you’ve thought about it. That stressful moment when everything is not going the way it should, (your child has dumped the entire contents of the cheetos bag into the floor and now has the color orange all over herself and the carpet. The washer is rocking, the phone is ringing non stop, someone is knocking on your front door, you’re trying effortlessly to clean up the other mess your child has made before you notice the cheetos disaster). All of this has you locking yourself in your closet just to escape for a few minutes peace and quiet before heading back out into the craziness that had you going in there in the first place.

3. A mother locks herself in the bathroom – oh yes, a must do occasionally just to refrain from getting a UTI. How many times have you sat down to pee just because you could not hold it anymore and someone runs into the bathroom crying because you are the only one in the world that could help them. A.) The TV is broken – another way of saying that they can’t reach the cable box to turn it on, their movie is rolling the end credits and they need it restarted right now or their cartoon ended and they don’t like what came on afterwards. B.) They spilled their entire bag of chips and is having a meltdown because they wanted one and now they’re all dirty. C.) I threw my toy into the washroom, but I cannot go in there because the washer is running and I’m scared of it.

I only lock myself in the bathroom when I know I’m not the only adult in the house. But this doesn’t stop my almost four year old from knocking on the door and calling my name in sobs because she needs me for something.

I just got into the shower and stood there under the hot stream. Two minutes had not passed when I heard a knock, knock, knock on the door, followed by, “Mommy, what you doing?”

“Mommy’s taking a bath!” I say calmly. I’m used to her knocking on the door or better yet, bursting through, stripping her clothes off, and getting into the shower without my knowing she even entered the bathroom. Kids are ninjas! I swear they are! Another good reason to lock the bathroom door – so mommy can get a proper shower.

“Mommy, door stuck!” she says with a grunt, referring to the fact that she cannot open the locked bathroom door. She starts to kick the door, then knocks on it again, “door stuck mommy!”

“I know it’s stuck baby, it’s okay, I’ll be done in a few minutes.” I reply, trying to hurry.

“It’s okay mommy, I fix it!” After a brief pause I can hear her yell just a few feet away from the door, “Nena (the name my daughter calls her great grandma – who is on the computer), door stuck! Nena, stuck!”

I could not help but laugh at how funny she sounds. Was she trying to rescue mommy, or was she trying to get into the shower herself. I quickly finish my shower, wrapped the towel around me, and opened the door. She stood there, giving me this mad look, then says with her thumb in her mouth, “Door stuck.”

I bit back a smile and say, “Door isn’t stuck now, what do you want?”

She points in the direction of her room. I followed her in there only to find that the cable box didn’t turn on and she was missing her Dora the Explorer show.

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