My Christmas spirit had almost vanished, diluted by words/ gestures that outcast me once again as the “black sheep” of the family, or actually, to say that I wasn’t family at all. My grandmother says that she wishes for all of us to get along, that it’s the Christmas season and family, all of us, should be together no matter who thinks what of whom. I tend to agree, but sadly, that won’t happen in my family. When my grandfather passed away two years ago, it made it that much easier for everyone to go their separate ways and do their own thing.
I try not to let it bother me, but knowing why I’ve become pushed aside in such a way has me irritated that I began festering about it all day yesterday and all of this morning. I had planned to work on my manuscript today, but I could only stare at the screen as my mind drifted off and I began to fester some more.
About an hour ago the doorbell rang; grandma and Dublin had answered it as I was sitting in my room. I heard singing…Christmas songs. I jumped up from where I was sitting and ran to the door…literally…my grandmother’s church sent Christmas caroler’s to sing to us…the youth group. I felt like the Grinch, whose heart grew three sizes and whose grin beamed from ear to ear. My heart had softened and I didn’t think about anything but my favorite holiday, Christmas. I picked up my daughter and quietly sung along with the caroler’s, smiling the entire time. It was something that I really needed to cheer me up and it worked!